When this is really matter.....

10 May 2007, evening @ home

P: connie, EOP result has out.
Me: When?
P: I see it around 3.30pm, after class. It should be out during lunch time.
Me: I fell like driving back to uni to get the result..
P: Just go lah..
Me: No (This is just too crazy)
P: paeds MEQ, only 3 students pass, 4 out of 14 get F.
Me: what??? Is the question super difficult? (I'm in paeds posting now)
P: ya.
Me: :S :S, How about surgery?
S: All passed.

At night, I was really in depression mood. Study abeit and Zzzzz...

11 April 2007 noon, after CP

I went to AAD to collect surgery EOP result.
I opened my result slip. XXXXX
Aas usual, XXXXXX, not much of improvement...why?

Am I fooling around?
Am I not serious enough?
Am I not paying attention?
Am I not putting enough effort?
OR the question was just too tough?

Deeply in my heart, I already know why.
Equation is always the answer.
same effort= same result.
I study as usual.
I have fun as usual.
I sleep as usual.
I do things last minute as usual.
I screw up as usual.
Everything is just as usual. And I just do not care....
I know when there is no improvement, there is always a place for deterioration.
I know what is the consequences for not study hard.
And I know exam is coming...

Is this my limitation? Or I can do better than this.

What happened, happens for a reason..
There are no short cuts, little change makes a big difference..