2 funerals in 3 weeks...I was exhausted physically and mentally. I just felt something missing in my life. I lost my father and grandmother in 3 weeks time. Why did all these happen to my family? And in such short period of time.......who could stand all these? Why, why and why? I just wondered. I could fell like I became 'quiet' these few weeks. I rarely talked especially to strangers. I just did not have the mood to make new friends. Was I griefing? This might the only answer medically.
For the past few days, i kept on asking myself again and again. " What is life? Why is human being brought to this world?" To enjoy, suffer or pay debt? I was searching for the answer. I believed that everything happened for a reason. It was just as simple as you would fail your exam if you did not study hard. "How do you explain those which born mentally or physically challenge?" "Is this a lesson for their sinful parents, debt from the baby's previous life or as a result from a negligent doctor?" Nobody could give a certain answer. " How do you decide the duration of the survival in this world?" " Is there a guideline for all these?" Perhaps only God knows. "Why do we suffer from illness?" Some diseases run in the family. What we could see was most of the family members passed away due to the disease itself or its complications. "Is this a curse for the family itself?" "Why do the period of suffering from a disease to death differ from people to people?"
So many why...my mind was at haywire. And the last why.." Why dont all these questions appear while I'm still a medical student?" Perhaps I was not care enough.
If you have the answers for the questions stated above, you are welcomed to drop me a msg or mail to me. Thanks!!!
