2 funerals in 3 weeks...I was exhausted physically and mentally. I just felt something missing in my life. I lost my father and grandmother in 3 weeks time. Why did all these happen to my family? And in such short period of time.......who could stand all these? Why, why and why? I just wondered. I could fell like I became 'quiet' these few weeks. I rarely talked especially to strangers. I just did not have the mood to make new friends. Was I griefing? This might the only answer medically.
For the past few days, i kept on asking myself again and again. " What is life? Why is human being brought to this world?" To enjoy, suffer or pay debt? I was searching for the answer. I believed that everything happened for a reason. It was just as simple as you would fail your exam if you did not study hard. "How do you explain those which born mentally or physically challenge?" "Is this a lesson for their sinful parents, debt from the baby's previous life or as a result from a negligent doctor?" Nobody could give a certain answer. " How do you decide the duration of the survival in this world?" " Is there a guideline for all these?" Perhaps only God knows. "Why do we suffer from illness?" Some diseases run in the family. What we could see was most of the family members passed away due to the disease itself or its complications. "Is this a curse for the family itself?" "Why do the period of suffering from a disease to death differ from people to people?"
So many why...my mind was at haywire. And the last why.." Why dont all these questions appear while I'm still a medical student?" Perhaps I was not care enough.
If you have the answers for the questions stated above, you are welcomed to drop me a msg or mail to me. Thanks!!!
3 comments:
hi connie :) you know, i JUST found out you actually read my blog, and that you linked me on your blog.. Oh dear.. I'm linking you to mine :) sometimes, we don't understand where God is when things happen. But know that we're only human. Our thoughts and ways are not His ways. We have to just learn to trust Him in faith, because though we don't know how things will turn out in the end for all of us, He knows. He's like an artist painting on a canvas. He knows how your picture will turn out in the end, and I'm sure if you just learn to listen to Him, your picture will be the one He has meant it to be.
No one knows the answer to everything. But God knows the answers to all your questions. And I'm sure He will reveal it to you in His time. Love you lots dear *hugz* stay strong :) keep in touch!
hey connie,
like siew lian, i also found out that you have been reading my blog, well i'm not sure if it's you but it says it's from your site hehe. Regarding all your questions, i have to say i agree with what siewlian said, there are many things in the world we don't know, simply because we're not God. His ways are higher than our ways, and there are things that we won't comprehend. But one thing though, whatever happens, God is always on our side, never once forsake us. He will guide and lead us in every step.
Hope all is well with you there. Gonna start work soon huh? hehe. All the best. =)
Dear Connie,
I had went through the same question that u asked. And I found tha answer when I get to know God more and more. I had come to realise human being no matter how clever we are, how capable we are, we cannot control our life, and other people's life, He had tought me to know through my weakness, through my disappointment in life, I have come to know I can only sorely depend on Him, not our family, our spouse or our friends that can leave us anytime. He created me, and He know what is best for me. He made me strong and realise His purpose for me through all things that happen. Not just the bitter part that mede us grow, there's a lot of blessings, small and big, like suprises everyday:) For everythings that happened there is a purpose. He will revealed to us over time. Keep your heart open to Him everyday, and He will revealed to you through small things that happened everyday. May u find comfort in His love.
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